Annie Post Mockingjay
by pkat369
Summary: A one shot about Annie's life after Mockingjay. Reviews please!


ANNIE FICTION

I can't go on, not any longer. Each day I have to force myself to keep going. Life has lost its joy for me. But I can't stop, I can't let him down. I promised him that I wouldn't.

It's Wednesday, today Johanna is coming. I pull the lacy curtain from the window and stare at the brilliant morning sky. It truly is gorgeous, but I don't see the beauty in it anymore. When I was with him, I could find the joy in almost anything. Finnick had a natural way of making people spark up like that, it was one of the best things about him.

It has been 3 months since I heard the news about Finnick. I honestly can't believe I have made it this long, but then again, each day I try to find something to distract myself with. Most of the time it works, but all too often there will be a day when I can't pull myself away from it. During the first few weeks, I cried on and off, but one day it was non-stop weeping. On another day I did nothing. I didn't even cry. Instead I sat in front of the window gazing at the ocean, thinking about him. But I started getting better, not because I wanted to, because I had to. Finnick wouldn't have wanted me to waste away my own life, and certainly not his child's too.

I softly pat my big, swollen belly. I have already out grown all of my clothes. As a result, Johanna has to bring over some of hers for me, but she doesn't mind. She cares about me, and that is something I can't let go of. Johanna has always been there, for everything. She helped me after my "incident" up in the Capitol. She comforted me when I was nervous out of my mind after Finnick proposed. She was there when I found out I was pregnant. And she was there after he died, and I know now that she always will be.

"Annie?" I hear Johanna at the door,"Annie, are you home?" On my way to the door I can't help but think of what silly question that is. 'Are you home?'; where else would I be? I never go anywhere.

When I open the door, she drops whatever she was carrying, and gives me an extremely tight hug, but I don't resist. "Oh, I haven't seen you in weeks! How are you?", she asks with an overwhelming sense of care in her voice.  
"I have been doing fine, Johanna. Thank you for asking." She knows I'm lying. The happiness washes away from her face. "What happened?"  
"Nothing. I'm fine.", I say it with complete confidence, but apparently it isn't very convincing.  
"Annie, we both know you aren't telling the truth."  
"Fine. Yesterday, I found a letter on my porch from Cata Thayer."  
Johanna may not visit me as often as I'd like, but she knows the people I respect, and Cata Thayer is not one of them. She has always been jealous of me. Mostly because of Finnick, but other things too. I could beat her at almost anything; speed, intelligence, swimming, you name it. Finnick had always told me I was prettier than her, and I suppose she started believing it too.  
"What did the she have to say?"  
"She went on and on about how disgusted she is that I am pregnant, at 19."  
"Why does she care? It's not her business!", Johanna was already getting angry.  
"I know, but that isn't even the worst part!", I raise my voice without even knowing it, then I start tearing up.  
"It's okay, Annie. You can tell me." Johanna scoots closer to comfort me. I feel safe, so I keep going.  
"Then she told me that she strongly suggests that I go stay in that mental hospital. And either put the baby up for adoption, or get..get..an..", I start crying so hard I can't finish, but Johanna already knows what I was going to say.  
"I'm so sorry, Annie.", She is tearing up now, but it is nothing compared to the streams running down either side of my face.  
"I..I just",I manage to get out.  
"Shh, it's okay. You don't have to say anything. I am going to give Ms. Thayer a piece of my mind, and it is not going to be pretty, that much I can tell you!"  
I calm myself down and say,"No, Johanna. Don't leave, please." Then a grin grows on my face as I say,"Besides, your golden insults would be practically wasted on such dull ears." She laughs.  
"I guess you are right." She says still giggling,"Come here." Then I receive a very tight, but comforting, embrace from Johanna. No, actually. I received that hug from my best friend.  
Next thing I know, she is over in my tiny kitchen looking through various cabinets.  
"What are hungry for?", she asks.  
"Anything.", I say. For once, in a long time, I'm actually happy. "Here, I'll help."  
I bounce up, and go over to help.  
"No, no, no. Tonight I am cooking for you. Go back over there and relax a little."  
I want to resist all of this pampering, but I don't. For some reason my antique-looking sofa seems ten times more comfy.  
"So enough about me, how have you been doing up in District 2?"  
"I have been doing just fine for that matter...Why?"  
"I know about you and Gale, Johanna."  
"What? That's ridiculous! I don-"  
"I'm not blind, Johanna",I say "You're wearing your engagement ring!"  
"Oh, oops...I guess it's not much of a surprise anymore." She starts fidgeting around with the glistening ring.  
"It may not be a surprise anymore, but it's still a beautiful thing. I'm happy for you."  
"Thanks Annie. But I have to admit...I am practically pulling out my hair, I'm so stressed."  
"You aren't stressed, you're nervous." I stroll over to the kitchen and start stirring the lovely stew. "Does that sound familiar?"  
"Oh, hush!" She grins. "Yes, it sounds very familiar. Probably because I said it! On your wedding day, I was helping you into your dress...back in District 13..." She trails off.  
I sit on the couch, completely still. Trying to hold the tears back, I listen to the few sounds that radiate around my home: The ladle in the hand of Johanna churning around the stew. The occasional seagull. The soft waves crashing onto shore. Even that weird ringing noise that visits my head every now and then.  
"Annie, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up bad memories or anything..." She walks over and puts one of her hands on my knee. It's very rough compared to mine, but then again I don't cut down trees for a living. I don't know if I have ever even held any weapon other than a trident. "Annie?"  
"What? I'm sorry, you were saying..."  
"I was saying that I was sorry for bringing it up."  
"Don't be sorry, Johanna. If I can't hear someone talk about District 13, or even my own wedding..." I start to lose my train of thought and feel that deep ache set in. But I pull it together, and start again, "If I can't manage hearing about those things, how am I supposed to live my life?"  
"I don't know, Annie. But I swear that is probably the most sophisticated thing I have ever heard you say." She pauses for a moment until she says with a hint of her old humor, "I feel like I'm speaking to a therapist." And once more the room is chiming with our laughter.  
"Well I honestly would be the worst therapist, given all my problems."  
She opens her mouth to deny it, but she knows I'm right. What patient wants to listen to some mad women rant off about her problems? The list is very short, if not non-existent. Then she speaks up.  
"He wouldn't want this you know. Finnick wouldn't want you finding success every time you didn't kill yourself. He would want you living your life, and moving towards the future. Not hanging onto the past."  
"I know. But no one can always get what they want. You know that."  
"Much too well, Annie." She flashes a smile across her pearly teeth. "But you loved Finnick more than anything, right?"  
I nod, "Well, yes. I mean he would do anything for me. So yeah, yes. Why?"  
"Than I think that you owe him that. If you loved him as much as he loved you, than you sure as hell owe him that."  
I nod, and accept the fact that I won't just exist anymore. I will live. For him.


End file.
